🤔 Am I Toxic? Or Are You Just Soft?

You ever snap at alguien, walk away, and then think… Damn, was I the problem? Or are people just too sensitive? Be honest—I’ve been there, más veces than I wanna admit.

I’m not gonna sugarcoat it—there were moments where I was reactive as hell. Después me sentaba en silencio, isolándome, replaying everything in my head… asking myself: Was I right? Or was I just toxic?

That kind of reflection? It humbles you real quick.

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🚨 Signs You Might Be the Problem (Sí, YOU)

🔴 You get defensive—ALL. THE. TIME.
🔴 You guilt-trip instead of communicate. “Wow, I guess I just don’t matter then…” ring a bell?
🔴 You take everything personal. Boundaries feel like betrayal.
🔴 You “control to keep the peace.” Reality check: that’s manipulation.
🔴 You hold grudges like it’s your career.
🔴 You overstep, then flip the script. “I was just helping!” Nah—you ignored a boundary.

If you feel called out, don’t run. Sit with it. 👉 If it stings, maybe it’s because you’ve done it too.

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😬 How My Toxic Traits Showed Up

🔥 With My Husband: I was so focused on proving my point that I shut him down. Defensiveness killed real communication.

🔥 With My Kids: I thought I was “teaching” but really, I was controlling. Kids aren’t robots—they need space, not micromanagement.

🔥 With My Mom: Growing up taught me a lot about toxicity—both giving and receiving. Tu familia can pass down behaviors you didn’t ask for. Breaking that cycle? No es fácil.

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💡 How I Started Healing

✔ I shut up and listened. Not every argument is a war.
✔ Dejé de culpar. Sometimes, it’s not them—it’s YOU.
✔ I stopped reacting, started reflecting. If I feel triggered, I ask: why? before I answer.
✔ Boundaries—set them, respect them.
✔ I stopped taking advice from gente whose life is a hot mess. Family included.

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🔥 The Hard Truth

Mucho de lo tóxico lo aprendimos de nuestros padres. Pero newsflash: we are not them. You either repeat the cycle… or you break it. And breaking it? Duele. It’s messy. It forces you to own your shit.

So if this stings, good. Growth isn’t supposed to be cute.

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📚 Books That Helped Me Unlearn Toxicity

✔ The Mountain Is You – Breaks down self-sabotage in a way that hits deep
✔ Atomic Habits – Real change comes in small daily moves
✔ Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Perfect if setting limits feels scary

👉 Those are affiliate links (yes, I may earn a small commission), No, they won’t fix your life overnight. Pero sí te van a dar herramientas pa’ empezar.)

Final Thoughts

If you’re asking yourself “Am I toxic?” the fact that you even care to ask means you’re already different. Truly toxic people never self-reflect.

So dime… are you gonna keep playing the same role, wondering why your relationships crumble? Or are you finally gonna do the work?

💬 Drop your most humbling self-awareness moment below—quiero leerlos. Let’s talk.omments. Let’s talk. ⬇️